Ageism makes bad situation worse

Ursula Feist

Flipping through channels one evening to find something pleasant to look at, I caught a panel discussion on a German channel on the subject of smoking. A new law in Germany had been tabled to forbid smoking in public places, and was causing considerable controversy.

One panelist mentioned an 88-year-old woman dying of heart disease as a result of smoking, prompting another to remark, “Well, how long should she have li—” before cutting herself off on account of some raised eyebrows.

I was incensed and unashamedly wished that she would find herself in an unwelcome position one day. She must have been about fifty and her green Dirndl dress certainly did not distract from her wrinkles in spite of heavy make-up.

It brought home to me the reality of being a senior once more: the impatience, disrespect and tactlessness too often thrust upon this segment of the population. Not so long ago, some youngster actually asked me whether I had thought about my own death!

This attitude was reflected in a recent accident I experienced: a young woman in a Cadillac Escalade rammed into the driver’s side of my brand new Honda Civic while turning a corner.

The damage to my car was significant, but the state I was in was worse. I had watched in horror as my windshield crunched and crumbled, and it hit me that I had just been about five inches away from being severely hurt or killed. My anger and fright showed — I reacted furiously.

A cheerful young man came running out of the house opposite and, pointing at me, said, “I saw it, I was on my roof, she ran a red light.”

The young woman asked him to be a witness and he enthusiastically complied. That settled it. The police were called, and upon arrival ignored me and the horrendous damage to my vehicle.

When they finally addressed me they were arrogant and condescending. I was old and in shock, and when you are old you are guilty! You shouldn’t be driving! Nobody asked me whether I needed anything or whether I was alright until my son arrived.

To add insult to injury I was handed a $150 ticket for running a red light, based on nothing but the word of the witness on the roof and the young woman. I have never had an accident in my driving life of over 50 years and no one even checked the view from the roof to confirm what the young man could have actually witnessed.

When the young constable who handed me the ticket finally looked at the damage that the elegant truck had inflicted, he commented, “She must have hit you hard” — a diagnosis confirmed by what it cost to repair.

I often think of that moment, and still have that uncomfortable feeling in my stomach — of having been treated like someone who doesn’t matter.

If you have been treated unfairly because of your age, we would like to know. Please send your story to editor@theseniortimes.com.